My sister brought her Wii Fit over today.  It’s said I was 45.  I’m not actually sad about that.  I figured it would say 50 something, so I’m 5 years younger than I thought I was.  AND I’m only ten years older than I should be.  I actually feel like that’s a reasonable goal.   Been doing the Weight Watchers thing 3 weeks now.  I’ve lost some.  Not much, but I’ve always been a slow loser. 

It’s funny how when you’re young and thin, you think that you’re fat.  And when you’re fat you think, how’d I get here?  And how can I get back to where I was when I thought I was fat? 

I pretty much know how I got here.  Friends with boys in college.  As long as I ate less than they did, it seemed all right.  Also, drinking with boys (and girls)  in college.  (See the eating thing.)  I think I got such a skew idea of what I should be eating that I couldn’t tell when I was full anymore.  Having kids didn’t help.   Lunch is at 11.  Even though none of my kids nap and don’t need to eat that early anymore, we tend to want to eat at 11.  And then we’re starving by 3.  Not conducive to good eating habits.

I am also contending with the effects of surgery and chemo.  I didn’t gain any weight while on chemo, which is good.  Unfortunately, what muscle I had has now been replaced with fat.  I’m also missing a good portion of muscle on my left side.  This was very apparent when I was making dinner tonight and couldn’t open the jar of garlic.  After a few tries, I gave up and used garlic powder.  That pissed me off a bit.  Can’t even open a stupid jar of garlic.

So anyway, I’m trying to be healthier, and even though people say you should just strive for that, I’m striving to lose weight too.  Losing 50 pounds cuts my cancer recurrence rate by 30 percent.  That’s a pretty huge incentive.

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