Unfortunately I have no pictures of the following events.

1) After carrying J inside WalMart, I realize that he has barfed sour milk all over his pants. Which is now on me as well. Now when I say barf, there are really two kinds. (Three if you’re still in college.) One kind is the stomach flu; the take-the-kid-home and strip him naked in the bathtub because more is a-coming kind of barf. Number two, which his was, is the too much phlegm kind that means if you can get him cleaned up enough, you can still take him places without fear of infecting the masses. (If you can’t think of the cause of #3, you’ve been out of college too long.) So, since we were in WalMart, a place where you can buy both guns and butter at the same time, I got him a 3 dollar pair of shorts, more wipees and bottle of Febreeze and we were good to go. Until I get back to the car and realize that his car seat reeks of booger milk barf (sorry to the people with weak stomachs!). I’m not looking forward to taking that apart. So I use the rest of the wipes to clean it out and spray the heck out of it with the Febreeze which I then realized made it really wet. So I found a blanket for him to sit on, strapped him in and went to

2) Target, where we shopped rather uneventfully for a birthday gift for their Grams. As an incentive for good behavior, I dangle the free cookie “carrot”, which they earned. Of course it is frosted.
Yellow. J looked like Blinky the clown. I bought another thing of wipes and again wiped the boy down before we made it home. Proctor and Gamble made a mint off of me today.

3) I think that things seem to be settling down as I went to check my email. J is down for his nap and L is watering our yard watering can by watering can. Or so I thought. I see a flash of white out of the corner of my eye. And No! I am not seeing things. My 4 year old daughter is streaking across the deck in the backyard au naturel! We have had oh so many talks about how it is considered unseemly to run around in the buff but apparently we need to have more. So I bring in the mud child (yes! Mud!) and toss her in the bathtub.

I was relating all this to a friend of mine who was very sympathetic to the day I had. Then I realized. Today was not a weird day. In fact, as my days go, it was relatively normal.

I think I shall be calling DH and asking him to pick up some beer on the way home.

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